Frequently Asked Questions

What Is Mediation?

Mediation is a process that brings people together to help resolve conflicts and find solutions acceptable to all. Mediation helps individuals learn conflict resolution and communication skills to resolve current and future disagreements. Mediators are neutral, objective third parties – they do not take sides and help participants to find their own solutions.

What Is The Role Of Mediation In Resolving Divorce And Custody Disputes?

Marital mediation is a cooperative problem solving process, which helps individuals negotiate and resolve the complex issues of separation, divorce and post-divorce decision-making in a collaborative, non-adversarial setting. Issues such as support, financial planning, division of property, custody and visitation arrangements as well as child care and parenting plans can all be addressed.

Marital Mediation – Is It For Me?

Do you worry that…

You cannot afford to get divorced?
You may end up in a court battle over child custody, finances or property arrangements?
You cannot communicate with your spouse?
You do not know what is fair or need more information?
Your children will suffer?
Too much of your money will go to attorneys?

If the answer is “Yes” to one or more of these questions, then mediation may be for you. Mediation has been found to be helpful in every one of these areas.

Mediated agreements can result in:

Significant Financial Savings
Emotionally Healthier Adults and Children
More Control for Participants
A More Understandable Agreement
A Simple Final Court Process

How Does Mediation Work?

There are a series of mediation sessions, usually 1 to 2 hours long. Under the direction of a mediator or co-mediators, the couple meets to exchange financial and other information. Each party explains his or her feelings and thinking about each issue. With the help of mediators, possible solutions are listed and discussed. The parties then develop an agreement that meets the needs of all family members.

How Long Does Mediation Take?

It depends on the number and nature of the disputed issues and the parties ability to engage constructively in the mediation communication process. Some couples are able to resolve issues in 1 or 2 sessions. For most couples, 3 to 5 sessions are needed. Complicated cases may take 6 or more sessions.

If I Use Mediation Do I Still Have To Appear In Court?

Divorce hearings are handled in the Superior Court of your county and do generally require some appearance by the parties involved (at least the petitioner) before a Marital Master or a Judge.

If I Use Mediation, Do I Need A Lawyer?

We recommend that all agreements resulting from the mediation process be reviewed by a lawyer. Lawyers can provide legal advice on how the law applies to you, help to sort legal options or choices on principle issues and review the mediated agreement to be sure it meets your needs as well as the legal requirements. Some mediators are lawyers and some are not.

Who Are Mediators?

Some mediators are lay people, trained to help others resolve issues causing conflict. They have 40-60 hours of training and an internship with an experienced mediator. Professional mediators are generally lawyers and mental health professionals who have 60 hours of mediation training in addition to their graduate education and professional work experience. Certified marital mediators are those who have 60 hours of marital mediation training, plus a 60 hour internship with a certified mediator. Not all mediators offering Marital/Divorce Mediation Services in New Hampshire are certified.

How Do We Find A Mediator Or Co-Mediators To Help Us Out?

Check your yellow pages, the Internet, or ask your clergy person, counselor or lawyer for names of mediators. Many mediators offer an introductory session at a modest cost. This is a good way to see if this mediator or co-mediators are right for you.

Contact Alternatives : A Center for Mediation and Training, at 1-800-891-7931, Olivia Ruel, Ph.D., has trained professional mediators from all parts of New Hampshire and can make referrals. You can also call the Nashua Mediation Program, 603-589-4550, for referrals in the Greater Nashua Area.

Can I Handle My Own Divorce Without Professional Assistance?

If you have a very simple divorce, no children and no property, you may want to handle your divorce without legal or other assistance. No property means, no house, retirement benefits, no business, nothing other than vehicles, cash and household goods. In managing your divorce you will need to prepare several legal documents. Even with a very simple divorce, you will probably find that preparing the documents is complicated and time consuming. If you have property, significant debt or children you probably should not even try. You may well end up with paperwork the court will not accept or find that you end up paying lawyers a great deal later to straighten things out which weren’t taken care of correctly the first time.

Written Resources:

A) Pro Se Divorce in the Superior Court: Representing yourself in an uncontested divorce. Published the New Hampshire Bar Association and the New Hampshire Pro Bono Referral System. The usual cost of this book is $30.00 to $35.00. You can obtain a copy of this through, New Hampshire Mediation, 280 Pleasant Street. Concord, NH 03301 (603) 224-8043.

B) The New Hampshire Divorce Handbook, by Attorney Honey Hastings and Published by Amoskeag Press at Box 711, Nashua, NH 03061.